The Meaning of Life (You’re Welcome)
The War Within by Dr. M.A. Cocchini
On your deathbed, you will ask yourself “Was my life good enough?” This book helps you answer that question.
My name is Dr. Michael Cocchini.
This book is about the Meaning of Life and my journey to find it.
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You don’t have a soul. You are a soul.
Everything you think of as your identity and your life (your reason, logic, personality, will, emotion, mind, forethought and consciousness)… is your soul. Your soul is you.
You have a body to interface with the physical world and you have a spirit to interface with the spiritual world.
There is a war for your soul between your flesh and your spirit and this life is the battlefield. This is The War Within.
I only wish I knew this sooner.
Watching a patient die never got easy for me.
As a young doctor and a Christian, I began to ask myself if I really believed what the Bible taught. Where was the line between being a believer and a scientist?
Did I just accept these things because my parents told me they were true? Was I in a cult? A brainwashed rat in a maze?
Or did I really believe that these people before me, a Hindu, a Muslim, an atheist and a prostitute… were really going to hell as I watched their panicked eyes dilate into desolation?
We were so focused on keeping the physical body alive, that we never stopped to ask what happened to their eternal souls after they were gone.
- Is there really a God?
- If so, which one?
- And what exactly does He want from me?
Everywhere I looked for answers I came up short. I traveled the world, explored cultures, talked to everyone and considered every religion and worldview. I worked every job opportunity that came my way, got every degree and certificate imaginable and chased down every adventure I could squeeze in. But meaning and purpose never came.
At best, science could only answer how we got here, not why we were put here. Most Christians were confusing emotional responses with spiritual experiences. And while Philosophers were genuinely asking “why?”, they had designated the mind, not the spirit, as the predominate organ of understanding.
Over the next 7 years, across 33 countries on 5 continents, I read every science, philosophy and Holy Book I could get my hands on. Including Richard Dawkins, Stephen Hawking, Jordan Peterson, the Quran, the Egyptian Book of the Dead, all 3 Bibles, the Apocrypha, the Book of Mormon and the lost gnostic gospels of Mary, Thomas, Judas and Peter.
I studied the histories and gave up everything I thought I knew. I embraced cognitive dissonance, experienced New Age consciousness through psychedelics, aimlessly tried to find validation in sex and drugs and suffered through what seemed like endless existential crises.
I began to read the Bible in desperation, feeling that I was losing control of my life. I began to see the power in The Good Book. For example, Ekhart Tolle said that New Age consciousness is a 3rd party perspective of the egoic self. It’s not the conceptualization of the matrix, from inside of the matrix. It’s the experience of the exodus from the Matrix itself. Well, the Bible defeated that entire religion in less than a single verse.
“Only the spirit knows mind.” (1 Corinthians 2:11). Tolle just changed “spirit” to “consciousness” and “mind” to “egoic self”. He was 2000 years too late. Everyone was. It was there in the Bible the whole time. I just didn’t understand it.
As my journey came to an end, something amazing began to happen. I surrendered. It sounds admirable now, but looking back at that time I was just exhausted. I was desperate and defeated, nearly on the verge of suicide. I thought I had given up, but what really happened was that I had finally humbled myself before God. I was tired of fighting Him. He had clearly already won. My hip was broken and it was time to hobble home and start living the life.
I accepted that my brain was in no way adequate to understand the mind of God and that it was probably just powerful enough to marvel at the wonder of His majesty. The mind was more an organ of knowledge and worship than it ever was an organ of wisdom and understanding (that is the spirit). My education and intelligence was indeed a gift, but it was not going to save me. God had just given me a better vantage point of His painting from which to admire it a little more than most.
I began study in the spirit, not just with my mind. I realized that my previous worldview had been formed in a language that didn’t have words for the concepts needed to join the real conversation of the meaning of life. I felt like I was finally studying for real, for the first time in my life. The Bible was finally beginning to make a lot of sense and the more I learned, the less I knew.
As confidence in my own intellectual knowledge began to decay, my understanding of spiritual wisdom started to blossom. I stopped trying to beat the Bible to death with my brain and as if it was a living and conscious Word, it finally started unlocking its meaning to me. It was my own pride that had been my downfall. Humility had been the decryption key all along. The simplicity of the Gospel is an affront to the arrogance of man.
As I read, I realized there was something seriously weird going on between the gods of Egypt, Christians and modern day scientists:
- Ancient Egyptian Religion: “Atum” — A sun god who created himself out of the dust of the earth.
- Modern Scientific Theory: “Atom” — An indivisible particle that makes up the earth, created from the dust of stars (the sun is a star).
- Christianity: “Adam” — The first (genetically indivisible) human made from the dust of the earth. The 2nd Adam is the Son (Christ) and both Satan and Jesus are referred to in the Bible as the “morning star” (Luke 10, Isaiah 14 & Revelation 22).
And then it hit me. There are only 2 religions. The first 2. The gods of ancient Egypt and the God of Isreal are still fighting in the desert to this day. And modern day science is a remnant of ancient Egyptian religion. The 10 plagues God sent on Isreal were not random. They were each displays of dominance over one of their Gods. When Moses turned the Nile red, it was demonstrating God’s dominance over Osiris, because the Egyptians believed the Nile River was his blood line.
The ancient Egyptians believed in 42 doors of the underworld. The Egyptian Book of the Dead is a list of spells you need to memorize to virtue signal your way through the doors by proclaiming to the Assessors of Maat “I am a good person”. If they were not impressed enough to let you through, you simply elevate the lie to the level “I am god (Anubis)!”
The more incoherent, emotional and self deceived you were in your belligerent assertions, the more convincing you could be. Fake it till you make it. Go big or go home. Ignorance, arrogance and false confidence were your friend.
Over the years, this religion has been rebranded into many different names but it all goes back to ancient Egypt. The name of the oldest Egyptian god “Nun” literally means “Primordial Soup”. The prophets of Pharaoh who tried to match Moses’s miracles were the first scientist (Science meaning “knowledge”) to say “We have knowledge of how these miracles work, therefore your God is not real”. There was truly nothing new under the sun.
Despite thousands of proclaimed religions around the world, there are actually only 2 salvation messages on earth:
1. The Pursuit of Happiness: “My will be done. I am god. I think I am a good person. I can save myself through my own self confidence that I have lived a good life”. This worldview is holding yourself accountable to your own subjective standard of goodness.
-VS-
2. The Seeking of Righteousness: “Thy will be done. God alone is God. I know I am a sinner. I cannot save myself and I am in desperate need of a savior (Jesus Christ)”. This reality is God holding you accountable to His unchanging Law.
It’s worth mentioning that Hitler thought he was a good person, while Mother Theresa died wishing she could have had the faith to do more. It’s amazing what you can trick yourself into believing when you make up your own standard of goodness.
All of the religions of the world are simply denomination of the “saved by works” salvation message. Christianity is the only one that tells you what you don’t want to hear: The inconvenient truth.
The con-science (Meaning “With Knowledge [of sin]”) is the acceptance of the truth. It is the penultimate Red Pill of existence. It is God’s Law written on our hearts and minds.
As a scientist, I began to realize that the conscience is scientifically unobservable, yet we all agree it exists. Shouldn’t we scientists be the ones calling the conscience “an imaginary friend”? Yet, the opposite was true. The same ones who claimed there is no God, were ironically bragging the loudest that they obeyed this imaginary voice in their head the best: “I am a good person (I hear and obey my conscience)”.
The only scientific explanation I could find for why the conscience exists was that it was a survival machine mechanism for our horcrux genes. But this seemed like a feeble shot in the dark at best. The Bible on the other hand answered all 7 questions I had about the conscience:
Who — All people will have
What — The Law
By whom — of God
Where — Written on your heart and mind
Why — To help us sanctify
When — In the New Covenant
How — Through of blood of Christ
(Romans 2 & Jeremiah 31)
The world told me that I was a good person (which I had already observed was untrue), that truth was subjective and that the meaning of life was whatever I wanted it to be (42*).
The Bible said that this life is a war over my soul between my flesh and my spirit. It said that I was not a good person (which I had already noticed) and that Christ was the Way, the Truth and the Life.
After weighing everything out… and I mean everything, The Bible made the most sense to me.
String Theory alone required 26 dimensions, infinite parallel universes, unknown quantum principles, multiverse generators and billions of years of unobservable evolution to even be considered possible. But it was “unscientific” to believe a homeless dude walked on water once?
Mainstream scientific theories just began to feel disingenuous to me. Like there was a deeper ulterior motive not being discussed.
Conversely, I estimated that for every Biblical miracle to be possible, the Bible only required about 5 dimensions, one universe, known quantum principles (like tunneling and super positioning), a creator God with intent and 7000 years of human lineage dating back to the very first human (which the Bible provided, with dates). King David in Psalms 139 seems to be describing a God of 5 or more dimensions as well.
Come to find out, it took less faith to be a Christian than to be an atheist.
I also began to feel disenfranchised that the scientific community had either lied to me, or was ignorant of the fact that in the right conditions it only takes weeks, days or hours for trees to petrify, bones to fossilize, earthen layers to sediment and bogs to form. Even oil can be made in a lab in 30 minutes from algae.
None of these things actually require billions of years. And this fact was repeatably and reliably observable in our lifetime. The eruption of Mount Saint Helens alone proved most of this in 1980, and the rest has been developed in labs as advances in technology. The right conditions for all of these things to happen across the earth in (let’s say 40 days) could easily have been the flood described in the Bible. It also explained Pangea, dinosaur fossils encased in mud and layers for twisted rock sediment in the Grand Canyon.
The Bible also explained the Horizon Problem in a single sentence “Let there be light”. I never understood why we scientists called these things “problems”. They aren’t problems, they are evidence. When all the evidence points back to a creator God, why do we automatically assume that there has to be a more reasonable explanation? Maybe the evidence keeps pointing back to God because there is a God. The Bible does say “All creation testifies”. I began to notice a presupposition in science: “Anything is possible… unless it’s God.”
Was I the only one fact checking the scientists? Why was no one Googling this stuff? And… again the Bible predicted it: “The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.” (Proverbs 18:17)
Scientists were the ones who were supposed to be fact checking the religious nut-jobs. The Italian Renaissance was supposed to be the great enlightenment after millennia of religious organizations oppressing science. Why were we now the ones sticking our heads in the sand and demonstrating the same attributes of religiously preserving our beliefs?
Was I losing my mind?! Was my entire worldview, education and life a lie? I kept digging, and come to find out, the scientific method was created by a Christian only 400 years ago: Galileo. And my great… great grandfather Giuseppe Cocchini may have helped him do it, as the publisher and illustrator of the House of Medici.
Every scientific friend I told about this had the same response. They didn’t want to hear it. They didn’t want to see the evidence. They were disinterested, willfully ignorant and even defensive. Some would call me an idiot for “believing in a magic man in the cloud”.
I would respond “I am the one talking about something you don’t understand. How am I the idiot? In any other context, the person who doesn’t understand is the idiot. Why do we afford this luxury to science to be able to deem something non-existent simply by virtue of the fact that they don’t understand it? It’s not my fault you built their worldview in a language that doesn’t contain words necessary to have this conversation. I know all the same stuff you do. I took the same classes and passed the same exams. I’m trying to tell you I have found something deeper. Why don’t you want to listen to me? Because the spirit is invisible, unmeasurable and untestable? Then why do we all agree there is a conscience? That’s different? How?”
This is usually the point where they would stop talking to me and appeal to some book or author smarter than them, as if professing their faith in a high priest of their own religion. And so I would read that person’s book too, and find that they fit the same 2 religion format I had noticed all along.
For example, in “The Selfish Gene” Richard Dawkins said that the purpose of life is to deny our selfish genes and become genuinely altruistic. That sounded a whole lot to me like “Deny your sinful nature, repent and sanctify.” The Bible was right again. But Dawkins was talking about being a “good person”, not repentance and sanctification. It was the second religion all over again.
But my friends responded that this was just his playful conjecture. And they challenged me to find fault in his actual scientific theory. And so I looked closer, and it was right there.
Richard Dawkins was saying that genes (DNA) desire to be immortal by default but despite their best efforts, they will be diluted back into the gene pool by the 3rd or 4th generation regardless. Genes want to have children so their DNA can live on, but each time they succeed, they still fail, because the genes of the new child are only half the of them (and half the other parent). He was describing that our very core of our being longs for eternal life, but could not save itself. Which is what the Bible says.
Dawkins also explained that his use of terms like “desire” was merely playful personifications and that genes are actually non-conscious. He said this apparently to try to save himself from the Christians who would point it out as evidence of a Creator, but he was unknowingly putting the last nail in his own coffin. Which is what the Bible says the arrogant will do.
If genes weren’t conscious, then I figured the only other way genes could be observably exhibiting behavior of desiring eternal life is if they were preprogramed to live forever by default, but something went terribly wrong thereafter. In molecular biology we call this “form follows function”, meaning that the shape and size of the molecule determines its function. Dawkins was proving that genes were originally designed for eternal life by a Creator and were just playing out their default design. Which is… (wait for it)… what the Bible says.
The Bible even said that the wages of sin is death (the loss of eternal life) and that this punishment would be visited upon us to the 3rd and 4th generation (Deuteronomy 5:9). How could the Bible have known about gene pool dilution 2000 years ago? And how could Dawkins have just accidentally proved the Bible scientifically observable in his arrogant attempt to prove that God doesn’t exist?
I began to observe that my friends where spiritually blind to what was right in front of them. I pressed deeper and deeper into why they didn’t want any of this to even be possible. And come to find out, the Bible was right again. If they believed any of it, they may have to eventually believe all of it. And this is terrifying because eventually it means you have to stop sinning. And no one wants to do that because sin is fun and sanctification sucks.
After this realization, I lost all interest in scientific debate (something I once adored and excelled at). The skeptics would say “The prevalence of abiogenesis over spontaneous generation is observable evidence as to the unbiased falsifiability of the scientific community.” But all I would hear is an over educated spiritual toddler screaming “But daddy! I don’t want to sanctify! I don’t want to give up my sin. Sin is fun and I don’t want to leave the amusement park. Just 5 more minutes!”
I decided that truth was more important than comfort. And so I took the Red Pill and crawled back, battered and beaten, to the foot of the bloodstained Cross. To Christ. But this time, for the first time, I actually understood why we believe what we believe.
And now, all I care about is helping you escape the Matrix too. It’s all I can think about. Your soul is real. It’s all real. I love you. Please listen to me.
On your deathbed, you will not just look back on the good times in life. You will stare forward into the endless unknown and whisper into the darkness… “Was it good enough?”
This book helps you answer that question.
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What you’ve just read is the equivalent of one chapter from The War Within. Specifically, much of this content comes from Chapter 9. There are 20 more chapters of this length and quality which make up the larger book. If you have found this content helpful, insightful or at least thought provoking, please help me bring this book to life by backing this campaign.
If this all feels like a bit much to take in at once, remember that this content is from the middle of the book. By the time you get to this point, you will have already built up piece by piece. The goal is to simplify complex topics and make them accessible to everyone.
Disclaimer: This Book is Dangerous
The War Within is for the “Belligerent Truth Seeker” willing to take the Red Pill and eat the truth tacos without the feeling the need to ask who’s sacred cow was slaughtered to make them. This book will offend you. It is highly controversial and extremely politically incorrect. The risk of being offended is a necessary prerequisite in order to discuss important ideas.
If you think you know what this book is about, you’re wrong. I have already read all of the books you’re thinking of and as far as I know, this book needed to be written because there is no book on earth like it. The War Within will break down every inch of your perceived existence and call you to a higher standard of life than you have ever been held to previously.
Understand that I am willing to look my friends and family, from all over the world, in the eye and telling them that they are wrong. I’m not trying to make any friends here. This is not because I think I am right. It is because it has become apparent that everyone is wrong about something.
There is no fluff in this book. Each chapter contains as much content as any 5 other books on the topic. This is not another feel good book tiptoeing around hot button issue to preserve my career and image. If this book ends up destroying my ability to get hired or work as a Doctor, I accept that risk. This content is that important. There are no punches held. It is raw, shocking, hurtful and unapologetic. Truth hurts.
The War Within is for the Christian, the Atheist, the Scientist & the Agnostic. It is written to answer each community’s questions and get us all on the same page of truth.
You cannot unread this book. If you start it, please finish it. As I break down the worldview you once believed was reality, there may not be enough pillars of perception left to support the weight of your sanity. Unless you are guided safely to the other side, you may experience an existential crisis by stopping in the middle. If you are going to read it. Read all of it.
This book is about the Meaning of Life. And unlike many books before it, it actually answers the question. But know this, no matter who you are, the answer is not pretty. It is not going to be something you want to hear. Be sure you really want to escape from the Matrix before you go down this rabbit hole. You have been warned.
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